Processing Today

The attack in Nairobi that began yesterday and continues into today hits close to home  Because, well, it is close to home.  We can hop in the car and be there in about 7 minutes.  Many, many times since moving here, we have hopped in the car and went to West Gate mall.  The mall is very upscale so we can only shop at the grocery store, purchase our monthly Internet, and maybe eat at a few of the cafes.  We shop there often because sometimes the grocery store sells Dr. Pepper.  If we are really lucky, it sells Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese!  We bought our appliances there.  We took our families and visiting friends there. It was one of the first places I drove to and frequented alone.  It never felt unsafe.  Never.

Yesterday that changed.  My heart hurts so much today as I try to make sense of something that does not make sense.  Today people are mourning the loss of a loved one.  Someone they likely said "see you later" to yesterday as they went off to go to the mall for a normal Saturday.  Others are in the hospital nursing wounds. Some will be released and able to go home to their families.  Some are critical.  Some will probably not make it.  And for those who escaped the mall, they now have to live with this trauma.  What started out as a normal, beautiful day in Nairobi will forever change the lives of so many.  In an instant.

My brain is spinning and my heart hurts so much as I cannot stop thinking about these things.  We keep watching the news and hearing helicopters flying over our home.  But what my heart knows is that God is still sovereign.  Today I get to choose to believe in that.  To trust in that.  In the midst of senseless killings, faith doesn't come as easy as it did the other day when I hung out with smiling, singing students.  Today I have to look around to see the evidence of God's love.

And you know what, I see it! 

-I see it in the guys outside our house who are selling sugar cane and roasted corn.  Just like any other Sunday.

-I see it in the number of people who are lining up to give blood to save the lives of strangers.

-I see it in the unity of Kenyans and those, like us, who live in Kenya. An unwillingness to back down even in the midst of tragedy.

-I see it in the mixture of sadness and strength in the eyes of the President.  Personally effected and unwavering, vowing to bring those who perpetrated this violence to justice.

-I see it as we watch the news and we see workers from the mall helping others to safety.  People  unknown to them before, but now united forever by this experience.

-I see it in people handing out free food and drinks to those who are near the mall.

-I see it in the prayers offered up from all over the world.

When I look around, I cannot help but see it.  Today we must rest in that.  We are thankful to reside in a place that will not let the evil of some destroy the hope of many.  We are so blessed by the way we continually see Kenyans unite together.  This nation is beautiful and strong.  We will remember the past, but look towards the future.  That is what Kenyans do.  

Today we lift up Kenya in prayer.  We believe in a God of all the nations.  The one we come from, the one we reside in, and all the other ones.  For us, our world was shaken up yesterday.  For others around the world, the fear that accompanies terrorism is somewhat a norm in their lives. We pray for them today and lift them to the God who cares.  

All knowing and all powerful, the hope of nations is in Him alone.