It is safe to say that we are living in transition. As we inch our way closer to a departure date, we find ourselves living more and more in the "in-between." As you can probably imagine this is not an easy place to dwell. We are not fully here and we are not fully there either. At times we have joked that support raising is not for the faint of heart. It ebbs and flows. It is full of blessing and surprises as well as challenges and frustrations. Adding to that is this feeling that you have nowhere that you really belong anymore because everything is changing. At the same time, we feel assured of what we are being called to. Cross-cultural ministry in the slums is where we need to be. Where we long to be.
As we get closer to leaving, we have both had to say good-bye to many things that we love, things that have held huge places within our lives. Lately, I have been thinking about the logos or labels we wear. There are so many things we adorn ourselves with, things we identify strongly with. We have begun to strip ourselves of these things over the past year. We now find ourselves wearing almost no labels. Tim has worn the SHG logo as student, football player, and coach for years. His football days will be over within the next few weeks. He has wore the Upward shirt, but that is no longer a role he will fill. We have both worn Fusion (WS High School ministry) clothing, we no longer have active roles in that ministry. I have worked at TASC for over 11 years. It was my first job out of college. On December 15, I will no longer be an employee. So what is left? We continue to be son, daughter, sister, brother, auntie, uncle, friend; however, these roles are also changing. Most importantly the label we have left is Child of God, Follower of Christ.
Today as I thought about the season of life we are in and the challenges it has brought, I began to let go of the frustrations. The confusion. The control. I was reminded that never in our lives have we been given the opportunity to strip away all of our labels and to identify ourselves simply as God's children, His beloved, His Disciples. Nothing else. That is so beautiful to me.
This time in our lives has been so much about faith. Philip Yancey says "I have learned that faith means trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse." This makes so much sense to us right now. Last night as we were praying through some struggles, we talked about how we feel like we are Peter walking on the water (see Matt 14:23-25). Sometimes we have moved through this process focused completely on Christ. Our eyes our locked in with His and we fearlessly walk towards him. But then we hear the wind. It comes is the form of rejection, disappointment, frustration, sadness, loss of control. We take our eyes off Christ and we sink. Deeper into those feelings. However, as soon as we again fix our eyes upon Jesus, we take steps into the unknown, into the deep with ease and confidence. As we continue support raising, awaiting a departure date, we continue to walk toward Jesus. He controls the winds and the waves. He calms storms. He calms our hearts. He can be trusted.
We have no idea how this all works out. He does. We rest in that. In the midst of the ebb and flow, of the blowing wind, we thank Him for a season of life where we are fully dependent upon Him. Where His logo is the only one we put on.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Our Needs
A previous blog gave a brief explanation of support raising. Now we will go into more detail about our role while serving in Nairobi, our need to get to Kenya, and ways you can be a part of this with us.
Click the link above to get a more detailed idea of what we will be doing while in Nairobi.
Alicia will be working directly within the child sponsorship program, Hope Partnership. She will also be able to use her skills as a social worker to provide counseling and other related services to children and their familes.
Tim will be using his ministry skills to incorporate evangelism and discipleship into the microfinance program. He will also be focusing on spiritual development while working alongside local pastors serving at Missions of Hope’s several churches.
We have made an initial 5 -year commitment to serve with CMF in Nairobi. At the conclusion of this term, we will evaluate to determine if we will remain in Nairobi or serve in another way.
OUR NEED
We are certain God is going to use us in some incredible ways, but we need your partnership to make this possible. One way would be financially. We need people to partner will us monthly. Our monthly budget is $7637. We have currently raised 71% of this budget. Our remaining balance is $2300 per month! This number includes housing, ministry and outreach funds, transportation, health insurance and salary. We are seeking individuals who are willing to include this ministry into their monthly budget. No amount is too small, or too great! Without monthly supporters, we cannot sustain our ministry in Nairobi. This partnership is not only a vital one, but is currently our biggest need.
We are also seeking people who are willing to partner with us through special gifts. We have a
one-time outgoing budget of $37,364. We currently have 46% of this budget raised.
Our remaining balance is $20,000. This figure includes training, airline tickets, purchasing of a vehicle and necessary household items. These gifts are no less important and must also be received in order to depart for the field.
one-time outgoing budget of $37,364. We currently have 46% of this budget raised.
Our remaining balance is $20,000. This figure includes training, airline tickets, purchasing of a vehicle and necessary household items. These gifts are no less important and must also be received in order to depart for the field.
HOW YOU CAN PLAY A ROLE
Obviously, financial support is critical for us. If you want to partner with us financially, we have several ways you can do that:
You can give online by going to: https://p2p.paperlesstrans.com/default.aspx?i=cmfms&c3=STEWART+Tim+and+Alicia&c4=400100
This will allow you to securely give a special gift or a recurring transaction.
Or if you prefer non-online giving, please email us at thestewarts08@gmail.com and provide us with your mailing address and we will send you all necessary info.
ALL GIFTS ARE TAX-DEDUCTIBLE.
Another way you can partner with us is through prayer. We are seeking individuals, families, small groups, etc. to commit to praying for us one day per week. We will commit to praying for you on that day as well. We will regularly update our prayers needs and would love for you to do the same.
To partner with us in this way, please email us at thestewarts08@gmail.com.
To partner with us in this way, please email us at thestewarts08@gmail.com.
We have also been giving presentations talking about our call to missions and explaining in more depth our roles while in Nairobi. If you would like to attend one of these informal meetings, please email us and we will make sure you are invited to one of these presentations.
We recognize we are fully dependent upon God and upon others to return to Nairobi to serve the poor. Without financial support, we cannot go to the field. Without the prayers and encouragement of others believers, we cannot effectively minister to those in need. We are so exited about what God is doing in our lives, and we are exited about the many ways that you make it possible.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1
Hebrews 11:1
Our Role
A few weeks ago, Wallace and Mary Kamau travelled from Kenya to visit West Side Christian Church. The Kamuas are the Directors/Founders of Missions of Hope International (MOHi), the ministry we have worked with in the past and will serve with when we move to Nairobi. We were able to spend a great deal of time with them and that time helped to further define our roles in the ministry.
Tim will using his ministry skills to incorporate evangelism and discipleship by working within the Spiritual Life Department at MOHi. Missions of Hope currently has planted 6 churches. A church plant begins as a Bible study at one of the schools and continues to grow into an active church. Two new studies have started and will soon become churches. Tim will work alongside recently ordained Kenyan pastors by assisting them as they grow thriving churches. They will be working together to create and implement a discipleship plan for new members of the churches, helping them grow and become consistent in their faith. He will also be working to build relationships within the micro-finance groups, helping to incorporate evangelism into these groups and to connect them to their local church. He will also be using his passion and skills in photography to help communicate the story of Missions of Hope, showing the transformation from the valley of darkness into the Mountain of God.
Alicia will help coordinate the child sponsorship program, Hope Partnership. There are currently over 6,300 student enrolled in the 13 schools operated by MOHi. The Hope Partnership provides educational opportunities to the neediest children living within the Mathare Valley slums. In addition to education, students also receive a school uniform, two meals per day, basic health care, and a focus on spiritual development. The educational opportunities for children in the slums are lacking. In the past, fewer that 5% of students from the slums were able to pass the national exam which is required for entry into high school. The two classes of students at MOHi that have taken the exam have passed at a rate of 100% !! Praise God for the opportunity these children are receiving at Missions of Hope thanks to the thousands of sponsors. The staff at Missions of Hope are praying that over 10,000 students will be enrolled in one of the schools by the end of the year 2012. Alicia will work to gather profiles for the children, facilitate communication between the child and their sponsor, and maintain all sponsorship information. She will also be able to use her skills as a social worker to provide counseling for students and their families.
It is safe to say we will be VERY busy once we arrive in Nairobi. We are very eager to assume these roles and our so thankful that God has provided ways for us to use our passions, skills, and talents to serve those living in poverty within the Mathare Valley slums.
Tim will using his ministry skills to incorporate evangelism and discipleship by working within the Spiritual Life Department at MOHi. Missions of Hope currently has planted 6 churches. A church plant begins as a Bible study at one of the schools and continues to grow into an active church. Two new studies have started and will soon become churches. Tim will work alongside recently ordained Kenyan pastors by assisting them as they grow thriving churches. They will be working together to create and implement a discipleship plan for new members of the churches, helping them grow and become consistent in their faith. He will also be working to build relationships within the micro-finance groups, helping to incorporate evangelism into these groups and to connect them to their local church. He will also be using his passion and skills in photography to help communicate the story of Missions of Hope, showing the transformation from the valley of darkness into the Mountain of God.
Alicia will help coordinate the child sponsorship program, Hope Partnership. There are currently over 6,300 student enrolled in the 13 schools operated by MOHi. The Hope Partnership provides educational opportunities to the neediest children living within the Mathare Valley slums. In addition to education, students also receive a school uniform, two meals per day, basic health care, and a focus on spiritual development. The educational opportunities for children in the slums are lacking. In the past, fewer that 5% of students from the slums were able to pass the national exam which is required for entry into high school. The two classes of students at MOHi that have taken the exam have passed at a rate of 100% !! Praise God for the opportunity these children are receiving at Missions of Hope thanks to the thousands of sponsors. The staff at Missions of Hope are praying that over 10,000 students will be enrolled in one of the schools by the end of the year 2012. Alicia will work to gather profiles for the children, facilitate communication between the child and their sponsor, and maintain all sponsorship information. She will also be able to use her skills as a social worker to provide counseling for students and their families.
It is safe to say we will be VERY busy once we arrive in Nairobi. We are very eager to assume these roles and our so thankful that God has provided ways for us to use our passions, skills, and talents to serve those living in poverty within the Mathare Valley slums.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Support Raising
It seems like we have mentioned support raising many times in previous blogs with the promise to explain in further, but we have never really explained it! So now is our chance to do that.
Within many missions organizations and other outreach or non-for-profit agencies money to operate must be raised from outside sources. Christian Missionary Fellowship International (http://www.cmfi.org/) or CMF is an organization that depends upon outside donors to operate. As affiliated missionaries with CMF we are responsible to reach out to others in order to raise the funds necessary to serve as international missionaries to Kenya. Most of the time, funds are given through individuals, groups, and churches.
As you can imagine this is no small task. We have been working for a few months now to contact families and churches to share with them the vision God has given us. We work to effectively communicate our desire and our call to be missionaries to Kenya as well as to share the need for us to serve the poor in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. We then ask for others to be a part of what God is doing through us by partnering with us in prayer and financial support. This is probably one of the most humbling experiences we have ever had. It is also one of the most rewarding.
Probably the coolest thing about support raising for us is getting to see God at work through others. We can absolutely not move to Kenya and minister to those in need without others giving to us and praying for us. We have to totally depend upon God to prompt others to partner with us and we have to trust that others will be sensitive to this prompting.
Another fantastic thing about support raising is that everyone who partners with us is a part of what happens in Kenya. When you read stories about what God is doing there and how he has used us to share the love of Christ with others, our partners are just as much a part of that as we are. Our stories become their stories. I love this. Not everyone is called to move to another country and be a missionary, but everyone is called to share the love of Christ with others everywhere. Supporting missionaries is one way to do that.
A great way.A life-changing, world-impacting way.
Our next blog will explain more of how someone can partner with us. We will outline our need and what funds are used for. Our need is great, but our God is greater.
Within many missions organizations and other outreach or non-for-profit agencies money to operate must be raised from outside sources. Christian Missionary Fellowship International (http://www.cmfi.org/) or CMF is an organization that depends upon outside donors to operate. As affiliated missionaries with CMF we are responsible to reach out to others in order to raise the funds necessary to serve as international missionaries to Kenya. Most of the time, funds are given through individuals, groups, and churches.
As you can imagine this is no small task. We have been working for a few months now to contact families and churches to share with them the vision God has given us. We work to effectively communicate our desire and our call to be missionaries to Kenya as well as to share the need for us to serve the poor in the slums of Nairobi, Kenya. We then ask for others to be a part of what God is doing through us by partnering with us in prayer and financial support. This is probably one of the most humbling experiences we have ever had. It is also one of the most rewarding.
Probably the coolest thing about support raising for us is getting to see God at work through others. We can absolutely not move to Kenya and minister to those in need without others giving to us and praying for us. We have to totally depend upon God to prompt others to partner with us and we have to trust that others will be sensitive to this prompting.
Another fantastic thing about support raising is that everyone who partners with us is a part of what happens in Kenya. When you read stories about what God is doing there and how he has used us to share the love of Christ with others, our partners are just as much a part of that as we are. Our stories become their stories. I love this. Not everyone is called to move to another country and be a missionary, but everyone is called to share the love of Christ with others everywhere. Supporting missionaries is one way to do that.
A great way.A life-changing, world-impacting way.
Our next blog will explain more of how someone can partner with us. We will outline our need and what funds are used for. Our need is great, but our God is greater.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Our Trip in Pictures
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| These beautiful faces greeted us at Bondeni School on Monday morning. They were singing, dancing, smiling and laughing. And our hearts were bursting! |
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| We spent Monday and Tuesday taking pictures of over 700 students at both Bondeni School campuses. Here are some of the younger students eagerly waiting for Tim to take their picture. |
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| One of the students at the upper Bondeni campus was in Kenya's Boy Scouts. Doesn't he look official?? |
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| Cheka is the Swahili word for smile. We would constantly be saying "Checka, Checka" to the students. As you can see this student is trying really hard not to crack a smile. |
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| One of the classes at the upper Bondeni campus. They are getting their class photo taken with Alice, the Head Teacher. |
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| This little guy melts my heart. I could look at this photo all day long. Never fails to make me smile. |
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| This is Phillip. He drove us all around Nairobi. He is an awesome guy with a fantastic story. I loved sitting up front with him in the van and chatting with him. I'm pretty sure there is nothing I haven't asked him about Nairobi. He used to drive one the crazy matatus, but stopped doing that so he could be part of the ministry at Missions of Hope. Did I mention how awesome he is?! He was so tired every night because we went everywhere and then he went home to help his wife take care of their new twins! |
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| We had the photos developed and helped the students decorate picture frames. They LOVED them! They don't often get updated photos of themselves so this was a treat for them. And of course for us! We loved being in the classroom with the students. |
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| The Jr. High Students at West Side are raising money this summer for the students at Bondeni. They sent small beach balls with special messages written on them with us along with a photo of themselves. We taught the kids how to inflate and deflate the beach balls. They were so much fun. When we were out in the community we would see the kids holding tightly to their beach balls and photos. |
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| So excited with their new treasures. Photos and beach balls. What could be better?! |
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| We brought a few larger beach balls out into the school yard to play with all the students. We had a blast! The school yard is just dirt and it was really warm that day so after playing we filthy and super sweaty, but we all had the best time. I seriously could spend all day hanging out with the students in the school yard. |
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| This is our sponsored kid, Ian. He attends school at Bondeni and his teacher tells us he is a great student. This pic was at the end of the week and he was a little less afraid of us. The first day when we saw him he was a bit shy, but totally warmed up after spending time with us all week. He is such a sweet kid and we love being a part of his life! |
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| This is the newly built upper Bondeni campus. It is the school for the older Bondeni students. It is such a shiny beacon of hope amidst the dark, dirty background of Mathare Valley. The students just started school there this year and have almost outgrown it already. What an awesome issue to deal with! |
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| The slums |
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| The slums. The shiny building in the back is Bondeni school. See how it shines :) |
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| All the students at the new building. They beach ball says HOPE. That sums it all up! |
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
An Update
Greetings! I apologize for not updating the blog while we were in Kenya. I had every intention of doing so, but it was just too difficult and we were so exhausted every night. We were able to update Facebook briefly, but to use the only computer for any length of time proved to be a bit challenging. My hope is to update more fully with pics and stories this week. We just wanted to thank everyone for their prayers and encouragement. This trip proved to be yet another confirmation that Nairobi, Kenya is where we need to be. I was concerned that the trip would prove difficult, and challenging, and uncomfortable. That we may question what in the world we were thinking when we said we would move to Africa. This was not at all the case. Even though Tim and I both got sick we survived and it didnt at all change our desire to be there. Things were even better than anticipated and we are even more excited to move there now than ever before.
We had many conversations with people which helped to further our desire to serve in the slums. If possible, they want us over there by September! We continue to raise funds and prayer support in order to be able to go. With God all things are possible, so please join us in praying that all the things we need in order to depart for the field will arrive quickly and that we can return to Nairobi. We have to get back, we left out hearts there :)
Thanks again for your prayers, support, and encouragement. We are humbled daily by the way God ministers to us through all of you.
We had many conversations with people which helped to further our desire to serve in the slums. If possible, they want us over there by September! We continue to raise funds and prayer support in order to be able to go. With God all things are possible, so please join us in praying that all the things we need in order to depart for the field will arrive quickly and that we can return to Nairobi. We have to get back, we left out hearts there :)
Thanks again for your prayers, support, and encouragement. We are humbled daily by the way God ministers to us through all of you.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
To Kenya
Tomorrow we leave for Kenya where we will stay until May 30. It has been almost 2 years since we were there. We are excited to go. We are anxious. We are a little nervous. This will likely be our last trip to Kenya before we move to Nairobi. We have never been to Kenya before knowing the next time we return will be on a more permanent basis. While we are there we will have the chance to get reacquainted with city and look at possible areas of residence. Exciting stuff. A little scary too.
In 2009 when we returned from a 2 week trip, we were certain we would return in 2010. That did not happen. We were totally bummed when we realized we would not be going to Nairobi last year. I know there is purpose in all things so we just waited for God to let us know what the purpose was. We are now so thankful we didn't get to go last year. Although we missed seeing friends and being in a place we love, last summer in the absence of Africa, God whispered to our hearts that it was time to pursue moving to Kenya full-time. It was time to pursue using our gifts and passions to serve in the slums. We had been waiting for this confirmation for awhile. The absence was also a nice time for us to see if we loved Africa, Kenya, Nairobi, Mathare Valley because we were able to visit yearly or if our love was deeply seeded in our hearts. If it was a love that was deeper, longer-lasting. It was. It is.
I think if you believe in something you generally have to believe in the opposite of that thing. If you believe in good you also have to believe in bad. You believe in truth, you must believe in lies. You believe in God, you have to believe in Satan, or the Devil, or the Enemy. Call it whatever you like, I don't think you can believe in one without the other. As you pursue anything, the opposition will always try and stop you from doing the things you set out to do. In our life, as we pursue moving to Nairobi, serving in the slums, telling people about the love of Christ, we will face opposition. Someone is going to try and stop this from happening. This trip may be one of those instances. We prepare to leave tomorrow fully aware that the enemy of God does not want the name of God spread throughout the slums. He needs to stop that from happening. He needs to stop us. We ask that you pray for us as we go. Pray that our focus will remain on Christ and this path that has been laid out before us. As I write nothing is going to change what we are doing, but we may face challenges, it may be uncomfortable, it may be an extremely confusing few weeks.
Also, please pray for those who will join us. Two of them have been before, two have not. They are all awesome people! Please pray for them by name: Luke and Allison Worrell, Bethany Burbridge, Joe Oettel. We have a lot of things planned while we are there so please pray for energy, strength, for rest and renewal. Pray for our health and safe, easy travels. Pray that we are able to be the vessels God uses to spread his name and his love.
Thanks for your prayers! Check back for updates!
In 2009 when we returned from a 2 week trip, we were certain we would return in 2010. That did not happen. We were totally bummed when we realized we would not be going to Nairobi last year. I know there is purpose in all things so we just waited for God to let us know what the purpose was. We are now so thankful we didn't get to go last year. Although we missed seeing friends and being in a place we love, last summer in the absence of Africa, God whispered to our hearts that it was time to pursue moving to Kenya full-time. It was time to pursue using our gifts and passions to serve in the slums. We had been waiting for this confirmation for awhile. The absence was also a nice time for us to see if we loved Africa, Kenya, Nairobi, Mathare Valley because we were able to visit yearly or if our love was deeply seeded in our hearts. If it was a love that was deeper, longer-lasting. It was. It is.
I think if you believe in something you generally have to believe in the opposite of that thing. If you believe in good you also have to believe in bad. You believe in truth, you must believe in lies. You believe in God, you have to believe in Satan, or the Devil, or the Enemy. Call it whatever you like, I don't think you can believe in one without the other. As you pursue anything, the opposition will always try and stop you from doing the things you set out to do. In our life, as we pursue moving to Nairobi, serving in the slums, telling people about the love of Christ, we will face opposition. Someone is going to try and stop this from happening. This trip may be one of those instances. We prepare to leave tomorrow fully aware that the enemy of God does not want the name of God spread throughout the slums. He needs to stop that from happening. He needs to stop us. We ask that you pray for us as we go. Pray that our focus will remain on Christ and this path that has been laid out before us. As I write nothing is going to change what we are doing, but we may face challenges, it may be uncomfortable, it may be an extremely confusing few weeks.
Also, please pray for those who will join us. Two of them have been before, two have not. They are all awesome people! Please pray for them by name: Luke and Allison Worrell, Bethany Burbridge, Joe Oettel. We have a lot of things planned while we are there so please pray for energy, strength, for rest and renewal. Pray for our health and safe, easy travels. Pray that we are able to be the vessels God uses to spread his name and his love.
Thanks for your prayers! Check back for updates!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
On paper I am not sure that Tim and I as a couple makes sense. As a part of this process we had to take several psych evals and complete several personality profiles. What we found out was we are complete opposites. On paper. We were in no way surprised about this! Obviously these differences can cause a bit of frustration in marriage. On the flip side of that, the great thing about these differences is balance. I think we balance each other out so well. I love it when we work to come up with solutions, plans, answers etc together. We both bring something different. Although we usually travel different ways, we always arrive at the same solution. I am a planner, an organizer, a list maker. Tim, not so much! He is laid-back, relaxed, calming. Balance. He is more than I would have ever picked for myself in a husband. So much more. I am so glad God gave him to me.
Recently, I was reminded of our balance. I was getting bunched up (anxious) about all the unknown, the uncertainties. I like to know what's up, what to expect, whats coming next. I totally trust God, but I just generally wish He would fill me in on the plan ahead of time. He usually doesn't. I have to deal with that. It is contrary to my personality. It fits perfectly with Tim's. We were talking through these worries the other night and I reached a place where I started to feel some peace again. Then we prayed. More peace. Then I began to read scripture. A little more peace.
I had finished reading Exodus and skipped ahead to Joshua. Moses has died and Joshua has been chosen as the guy to lead the Israelites into the battles they will need to fight as they inch their way toward the Promised Land. You get the sense Joshua is not so sure he is the right guy for the job, but God has chosen him so he accepts. In the first chapter, God tells Joshua to be strong and courageous about a billion times. This trend continues throughout the book. By the time I finished the book, I had read those words so many times and I knew I needed them too. Right then. Perfect timing. Just like Joshua.
It seems like God knows those thoughts and uncertainties are going to creep up within us (me). He knows my personality. He gave it to me. The same planning and organization that lends itself toward anxiety is the trait of mine that keeps Tim and I on schedule. That gets us prepared. That makes lists and keeps track of stuff. Not a bad trait, just have to be careful how its used. When it starts to bother me that I don't have all the answers and I begin to feel that pit in my stomach I remind myself of God promises. Be strong. Have Courage. Trust me. I got this.
It is always so conflicting to feel this way. I trust God totally. I don't want these feelings. They just appear. I have to continually give them to God and allow him to comfort me. These thoughts are not his thoughts. They are not his ways. They come from someone else. I can live in fear and paralyzing worry or I can turn them over to the One who has it taken care of. I try. I do, but sometimes its a struggle.
God moves so much in the unknown, in the midst of the uncertainties. I have seen this so many times in my life and the lives of others. So often the biggest blessings, the WOW factor of God happens in the unknown. I wouldn't trade that in for a copy of "The plan." I love seeing God work in ways the defy my plans or thoughts. I love it when he blows my mind.
As we move into the support raising stage, the final stage, so many things remain a mystery. What doesn't is that God will provide. He has lead us to Kenya. He has been preparing us for this for such a long time. He knows what is up ahead and he has it figured out. He is going to bless us, surprise us, WOW us. He will give us reasons to again find ourselves in awe of Him.
Recently, I was reminded of our balance. I was getting bunched up (anxious) about all the unknown, the uncertainties. I like to know what's up, what to expect, whats coming next. I totally trust God, but I just generally wish He would fill me in on the plan ahead of time. He usually doesn't. I have to deal with that. It is contrary to my personality. It fits perfectly with Tim's. We were talking through these worries the other night and I reached a place where I started to feel some peace again. Then we prayed. More peace. Then I began to read scripture. A little more peace.
I had finished reading Exodus and skipped ahead to Joshua. Moses has died and Joshua has been chosen as the guy to lead the Israelites into the battles they will need to fight as they inch their way toward the Promised Land. You get the sense Joshua is not so sure he is the right guy for the job, but God has chosen him so he accepts. In the first chapter, God tells Joshua to be strong and courageous about a billion times. This trend continues throughout the book. By the time I finished the book, I had read those words so many times and I knew I needed them too. Right then. Perfect timing. Just like Joshua.
It seems like God knows those thoughts and uncertainties are going to creep up within us (me). He knows my personality. He gave it to me. The same planning and organization that lends itself toward anxiety is the trait of mine that keeps Tim and I on schedule. That gets us prepared. That makes lists and keeps track of stuff. Not a bad trait, just have to be careful how its used. When it starts to bother me that I don't have all the answers and I begin to feel that pit in my stomach I remind myself of God promises. Be strong. Have Courage. Trust me. I got this.
It is always so conflicting to feel this way. I trust God totally. I don't want these feelings. They just appear. I have to continually give them to God and allow him to comfort me. These thoughts are not his thoughts. They are not his ways. They come from someone else. I can live in fear and paralyzing worry or I can turn them over to the One who has it taken care of. I try. I do, but sometimes its a struggle.
God moves so much in the unknown, in the midst of the uncertainties. I have seen this so many times in my life and the lives of others. So often the biggest blessings, the WOW factor of God happens in the unknown. I wouldn't trade that in for a copy of "The plan." I love seeing God work in ways the defy my plans or thoughts. I love it when he blows my mind.
As we move into the support raising stage, the final stage, so many things remain a mystery. What doesn't is that God will provide. He has lead us to Kenya. He has been preparing us for this for such a long time. He knows what is up ahead and he has it figured out. He is going to bless us, surprise us, WOW us. He will give us reasons to again find ourselves in awe of Him.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sacrifice
I like to read blogs. I have several marked in my favorites and I check them every day in eager anticipation of something new to read. Awhile ago, I was thinking about sacrifice and what it meant for us to move to Kenya. Much of this process hasn’t really seemed like a sacrifice. We want to be there. We long to be there. Our hearts ache to be in the slums. To be pursuing this seems so natural. As the process continued and as we are now ready to raise support (much more on that to come), I found myself dwelling a lot more on what this “move” really means.
I think there are all kinds of sacrifices. I think there are things we give up and although they present a challenge, some things are not so hard to part with. For us, this was our apartment. In January, we moved out of our place and back in with Tim’s parents. Financially it makes sense and we love getting to spend time with them before we leave. I think some sacrifices are much, much harder. They require a big choice. They require parting with things we love, things we hold close. This is soon going to be where we are at in this journey. At some point we will sell or give away most of our things. We will say good-bye to friends and family we love so much. We will arrive at an airport and say good-bye to our parents, siblings, a niece and a nephew. The people we love the most. We will board a plane uncertain of what comes next. This one is going to be a little more difficult. I also think there are sacrifices that can feel like they have been ripped from the depths of your soul. Sacrifices that sometimes don’t come with a choice initially, but with a choice afterward. How will I respond? What will this look like for me? To others? So far we haven’t reached that sacrifice, but it may come. At some point, God may ask for everything. We have had to search ourselves to see if we are willing to risk it all, to give it all to him. These are hard questions. Gut wrenching questions.
While thinking about all of these things it seemed like every blog I read was about sacrifice. The scripture that kept being repeated was from 2 Samuel 24 which is referring to a time after David, the King, has sinned. An altar was to be built so he could offer a sacrifice to God for these sins. He goes to buy a place to build this altar and the owner offers to give it to him because he is the king. David says in verse 24: “No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the LORD my God that have cost me nothing.” It would be so easy to give God the free stuff. Something that cost nothing. But that doesnt mean as much. When it doesnt cost you something, eventually it doesnt matter.
I love this. Moving to Nairobi, serving in the slums, living in another culture may be all the things we want, but they come at a sacrifice. We will not offer to God something that costs us nothing. We are so aware of some of the sacrifices and offerings we will give to God, but some are totally unknown. Serving God will always cost us something. Will our offerings be ones that are given with open hands or will they be ones we hold a little tightly, give a little reluctantly, or will they be ripped from our hearts? The answers to these questions only God knows. We take each step forward in faith, knowing we are giving these things to God who loves us more than anyone else could possibly love us. We trust He has written the best story for us. We will not give Him offerings that cost us nothing.
Easier said then done, for sure. Worth it? Absolutely!
Please pray for us as we take next steps towards getting to Kenya. We will write a blog soon about support raising and our needs, but for now please pray as we formulate a plan!
I think there are all kinds of sacrifices. I think there are things we give up and although they present a challenge, some things are not so hard to part with. For us, this was our apartment. In January, we moved out of our place and back in with Tim’s parents. Financially it makes sense and we love getting to spend time with them before we leave. I think some sacrifices are much, much harder. They require a big choice. They require parting with things we love, things we hold close. This is soon going to be where we are at in this journey. At some point we will sell or give away most of our things. We will say good-bye to friends and family we love so much. We will arrive at an airport and say good-bye to our parents, siblings, a niece and a nephew. The people we love the most. We will board a plane uncertain of what comes next. This one is going to be a little more difficult. I also think there are sacrifices that can feel like they have been ripped from the depths of your soul. Sacrifices that sometimes don’t come with a choice initially, but with a choice afterward. How will I respond? What will this look like for me? To others? So far we haven’t reached that sacrifice, but it may come. At some point, God may ask for everything. We have had to search ourselves to see if we are willing to risk it all, to give it all to him. These are hard questions. Gut wrenching questions.
While thinking about all of these things it seemed like every blog I read was about sacrifice. The scripture that kept being repeated was from 2 Samuel 24 which is referring to a time after David, the King, has sinned. An altar was to be built so he could offer a sacrifice to God for these sins. He goes to buy a place to build this altar and the owner offers to give it to him because he is the king. David says in verse 24: “No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the LORD my God that have cost me nothing.” It would be so easy to give God the free stuff. Something that cost nothing. But that doesnt mean as much. When it doesnt cost you something, eventually it doesnt matter.
I love this. Moving to Nairobi, serving in the slums, living in another culture may be all the things we want, but they come at a sacrifice. We will not offer to God something that costs us nothing. We are so aware of some of the sacrifices and offerings we will give to God, but some are totally unknown. Serving God will always cost us something. Will our offerings be ones that are given with open hands or will they be ones we hold a little tightly, give a little reluctantly, or will they be ripped from our hearts? The answers to these questions only God knows. We take each step forward in faith, knowing we are giving these things to God who loves us more than anyone else could possibly love us. We trust He has written the best story for us. We will not give Him offerings that cost us nothing.
Easier said then done, for sure. Worth it? Absolutely!
Please pray for us as we take next steps towards getting to Kenya. We will write a blog soon about support raising and our needs, but for now please pray as we formulate a plan!
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