Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Birthday

Today I turn 34. This seems weird to me as I don't feel like what I think 34 should feel like. We don't make a huge deal out of birthdays. Sometimes there is cake, or dinner, or it's a nice excuse to take a weekend trip, but overall not a huge deal. Today I have spent my day in Colorado learning about language acquisition and learning a little Vietnamese. I have received so many kind words and well wishes which have caused my heart to swell a bit today, but it has been a different birthday for sure. Because of this I have thought a lot today about what it means to be born, to celebrate a day of birth, another year.
All around us we are surrounded by some of the most beautiful scenery ever. The Rockies are majestic and breathtaking. I love the walks we take each day, breathing in fresh air, taking in all that surrounds us. We cannot help but be reminded of God as Creator. His hands so carefully carved the mountains, dug out the oceans, placed the moon, sun, and stars in the appropriate places. And so much more. These hands also knit me together in my mother's womb (see Psalm 139:13). In the secret place, before my parent's even knew I was, God was carefully creating me. And he didn't just Make me, he created me in HIS image and breathed His breath into my life.
I like to think as He was doing this so carefully, so intricately that He was thinking over my life. He saw the day I would arrive in the world. He saw my first steps, my first words, my first scrapes and bruises. He saw the day I would accept his Son as my Saviour, the day He would again breath life into me in the form of his Spirit. He saw mistakes made, lessons learned, challenges overcome. He knew all the things He would use to make me who He created me to be. I like to think He saw Tim as my husband and the day we walked down the aisle and commuted both to each other and also to Him. He saw times in my life where I would make choices that would lead to a lot of hurting. He knew ways he could use that hurt to help others who were hurting. I like to think He gave me a tender heart and in that heart he placed a spot for Africa and more specifically for Kenya. I love to think of him picturing the day I would step off a plane in Uganda and He would reveal this spot in my heart that I was so unaware of. He saw me coming back and sharing this passion and longing with Tim and knew that in just a few short months He would reveal the same soft spot for Kenya in Tim's heart as well. He saw the day we would commit ourselves fully to spreading the name and love of Jesus to the nations. He saw/sees all the days that followed the commitment.
As we continue out into the unknown, He knows. He sees. It is so comforting to think that as He was creating me, He sees what comes next.