Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Sacrifice

I like to read blogs. I have several marked in my favorites and I check them every day in eager anticipation of something new to read. Awhile ago, I was thinking about sacrifice and what it meant for us to move to Kenya. Much of this process hasn’t really seemed like a sacrifice. We want to be there. We long to be there. Our hearts ache to be in the slums. To be pursuing this seems so natural. As the process continued and as we are now ready to raise support (much more on that to come), I found myself dwelling a lot more on what this “move” really means.

I think there are all kinds of sacrifices. I think there are things we give up and although they present a challenge, some things are not so hard to part with. For us, this was our apartment. In January, we moved out of our place and back in with Tim’s parents. Financially it makes sense and we love getting to spend time with them before we leave. I think some sacrifices are much, much harder. They require a big choice. They require parting with things we love, things we hold close. This is soon going to be where we are at in this journey. At some point we will sell or give away most of our things. We will say good-bye to friends and family we love so much. We will arrive at an airport and say good-bye to our parents, siblings, a niece and a nephew. The people we love the most. We will board a plane uncertain of what comes next. This one is going to be a little more difficult. I also think there are sacrifices that can feel like they have been ripped from the depths of your soul. Sacrifices that sometimes don’t come with a choice initially, but with a choice afterward. How will I respond? What will this look like for me? To others? So far we haven’t reached that sacrifice, but it may come. At some point, God may ask for everything. We have had to search ourselves to see if we are willing to risk it all, to give it all to him. These are hard questions.  Gut wrenching questions.

While thinking about all of these things it seemed like every blog I read was about sacrifice. The scripture that kept being repeated was from 2 Samuel 24 which is referring to a time after David, the King, has sinned. An altar was to be built so he could offer a sacrifice to God for these sins. He goes to buy a place to build this altar and the owner offers to give it to him because he is the king. David says in verse 24: “No, I insist on buying it, for I will not present burnt offerings to the LORD my God that have cost me nothing.” It would be so easy to give God the free stuff.  Something that cost nothing.  But that doesnt mean as much.  When it doesnt cost you something, eventually it doesnt matter. 
I love this. Moving to Nairobi, serving in the slums, living in another culture may be all the things we want, but they come at a sacrifice. We will not offer to God something that costs us nothing. We are so aware of some of the sacrifices and offerings we will give to God, but some are totally unknown. Serving God will always cost us something. Will our offerings be ones that are given with open hands or will they be ones we hold a little tightly, give a little reluctantly, or will they be ripped from our hearts? The answers to these questions only God knows. We take each step forward in faith, knowing we are giving these things to God who loves us more than anyone else could possibly love us. We trust He has written the best story for us. We will not give Him offerings that cost us nothing.
Easier said then done, for sure. Worth it? Absolutely!
Please pray for us as we take next steps towards getting to Kenya. We will write a blog soon about support raising and our needs, but for now please pray as we formulate a plan!