I will sing a new song

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,

and he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,

out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground

and steadied me as I walked along.

He has given me a new song to sing,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see what he has done and be amazed.

They will put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 40:1-3

Missing Kenya

We have been home for over two weeks now and we have gotten back into life as we knew it, but there are many moments that I seriously miss Kenya. I mostly miss the people, but I also miss the fruit. While there this summer I was introduced to passion fruit which is a perfect combination of sweet and extremely tart . I ate them frequently and would often have a big glass of fresh passion fruit juice which was incredible. I was really craving a taste of Kenya today and thought that something passion fruit flavored should satisfy this desire. I wandered around the grocery store and much to my disappointment I could not find anything passion fruit flavored. The last aisle I walked down contained cold juices and it was there that I spotted some passion fruit juice. I was thrilled. First thing I did when I got home was pour myself a nice big glass. I was so excited as I began to take a drink and sadly it was not good. Actually it was really, really bad. It tasted nothing like passion fruit juice. Guess I have to do something else to get myself a taste of Kenya......

Simply Faith

Yesterday I returned to work and casually asked how things were this summer. My boss looked at me puzzled and said has no one talked to you? I said not really why? I was expecting some disaster to have happened with the kids on my caseload while I was gone and was in no way prepared for what he said next. In short, apparently the governor "finished" the budget which included a huge cut to social services and much of that included substance abuse treatment services (which is where I work). Last Thursday it was believed that Friday, August 1 would be our last day and potentially our agency would close. Fortunately this was avoided and the agency is staying open and my job is safe for now.
Over the summer I thought about simple faith a lot. Most days we would visit peoples homes and they would talk about how God provided for them through rent money, food, school fees, healing sicknesses etc. It made me think about how I see God's as my provider. In the past few years I have really seen God provide for Tim and I, but do I really see him as my ultimate provider. Is my faith shallow at times? Of course I acknowledge how God provides for me, but do I ultimately believe that all things come from Him alone... If you believe in God in Kenya, when it rains you know God provided, when you get money for rent or for food you know without a doubt it comes from God, when your child is well you know God has healed them, when you are safe through another day you know God has protected you. Do I see that daily? When it rains do I complain because it gets in the way of things I want to do? When my paycheck comes do I see that God provided through a job? When I eat do I recognize God providing my daily bread? Honestly, sometimes I am not sure that I do. I guess by almost losing my job it made me rethink about this. At anytime I may not be able to pay the rent but I know I have family who would help us financially or credit at the bank to help me out or a lot of things I could sell to get extra funds but do I trust in that over God's provision? I ache to be someone who always sees God in everything. At times we see those who live in places like Mathare Valley and we talk about how horrible it would be to live like that and how much better it is in America and in some ways that is true. However, in America we have the ability to overlook God and to think we do things for ourselves. Not sure who really has it better sometimes.
My prayer as I return to my home and readjust to life is not to miss God in the day to day. To see Him in the ways I saw Him this summer. To have my faith simplified.

Adjusting

So we are back home and today is my first day back at work. Not sure how this is going to be for me. Nothing like jumping right back into things huh? The past few days have been great getting to catch up with family and friends. It has been good to share our summer with them and to hear about all they have been up to this summer. Not sure I was ready to leave Kenya, but am always glad to be around people I love.
Debriefing was like a holding area in between Kenya and America. We talked about how to tell our stories, how to avoid rejecting American culture, how to continue to see God in our lives etc. It was good to have that transition, but when our plane landed in America I was ready to be home. Maybe that is because I was sick on the plane?!
It was helpful to have experienced missionaries give us tips on how to talk about our summer. How do you cram 2 months worth of incredible experiences into conversations that keep peoples attention? What do people really want to know about? What is saying too much? too little? How do you encourage others to be a part of what you have been a part of? How do you adequately describe 2 months of God?
In the past few days when I have thought about the summer the word that keeps popping in my head is Creation. I feel like I spent the whole summer in awe of God's magnificent creation. The most beautiful part of this is that I dont mean the animals or trees or anything like that. Actually most of the animals and vegetation we saw we saw our last 2 days. The creation I have been most captivated by is us, by people. I maybe somewhat biased but I feel like the most beautiful people on Earth live in Africa. Their smiles could light up the world. The laughter of children is the most precious song. The determination and joy on a face of someone who has received life forever is priceless. I feel like we spent the summer seeing God's best work. Even in the most difficult of times (and believe me there were certainly those as well) we witnessed the glory of God and the magnificence of his Creation. This came not only from the Kenyans, but from those on our team, from our families and friends, and from everyone who was faithfully praying for us at home. In the midst of the challenges, of the enemy working overtime to stop what God was doing, in cries heard throughout the valley-we saw God be big, we saw God be God. I am not sure how to describe that fully but I am excited to try.