A gift

If you read this blog very long you will soon discover common phrases such as "I cried" "My heart was broken" etc.  Its just true.  I cry often and somewhat easily.  I am rarely crying because I am sad or hurt (although that sometimes is the case).  Most times I cry because my heart is sensitive.  I joke that God gave me the gift of tears so I couldn't be too tough or to independent.  I seriously will tear up at random and over things that don't seem to matter much to others.  Sometimes its just plain embarrassing.  Anyway, that was not the point of this blog other than to say that today I wept.  Really wept.

Last year, we were having some difficulty trying to decide what we wanted for Christmas.  We didn't really need anything and it seemed somehow wrong to try and find things to want just for someone to buy them for us. So my family decided to not buy for each other and to use that money to buy presents for another family.  It was so much fun and we decided to continue the tradition this year as well.  On Wednesday, my mom, sista, and I went shopping to buy gifts for 3 kids who are currently in foster care (and for their foster family).  Kim and I did not know them at all, but my mom filled us in on some details of their life.  Their short amount of time on this Earth has been heart-breaking and ridiculously awful to say the least.  Their story makes me angry.  The injustice these precious little ones have endured is a picture of evil at its worst.  As I write, I find myself getting angry again so I will move on.

We had the best time shopping for them.  We had a list and we bought almost all the things they wanted.  We might have went a little bit overboard, but OH it was so worth it!  The gifts were delivered while the family was out.  I wanted so badly to be able to see their reactions to their gifts without them knowing who we were or that we were there, but we couldn't get that worked out.  Today we were told that this was the first Christmas they had ever had!  They have never celebrated a Christmas or a birthday.  They have never had special gifts picked out just for them to open.  One of the children kept exclaiming
 "is this one mine too?" and " are these really for me?"  When I heard this I wept.  I wept much of the time we were at church and most of the way home.

I wept for these children who have had it so rough. I cant even begin to understand all the things they have been through.  Christmas for me has always been full of gifts, laughter, family, and love. So much love.  I wept because this year they got all of those things.  Mostly, though, I wept out of humility and gratitude.  There are absolutely no words to describe the joy that I felt in knowing that God chose me and my family to be the folks he used to share his love to those kids, to that family.  As I write these word I weep.  As I write this, there are 3 kiddos who were so happy this Christmas and felt loved.  I weep because through simple gifts, God made them feel special and that they mattered.  I weep because tonight they are snuggled up in warm beds with their pillow pets.  I weep because tonight they feel safe.

In a few years, those gifts will get worn out.  They may break or be outgrown, but the feeling of this Christmas will be lasting.  For them.  For me.  For us. 

31 Fundraiser

If you are looking for gifts for Christmas and want to help Tim and I get to Kenya.....I know just the thing for you!  Our great friend Lorna has offered to have a 31 Party/Online Show where she will be donating all of her proceeds to us to go towards our move to Kenya!  We are so thankful for her and her generousity!!


To check out the catalog and place an order simply go to:
www.mythirtyone.com/LornaBaker
Click My Events on the Right Hand Side of the Page
Click Shop Now on Stewarts for Africa.


Thanks!!

A confession

I have a confession to make. I read through this blog quite often.  I start from the beginning and read it right up through the last post. By the time I am finished my cheeks are stained with tears and my heart is bursting with love.  What a reminder this blog is to us of God's provision and direction in our lives.  The prompting in our hearts to leave it all and go to Kenya is so obvious when I read the words we have written over the past few years.  When I feel inadequate, incompetent, hestitant, scared, unworthy (and I feel all of these emotions quite often), I can reread these words and feel satisfied in knowing we are headed where we need to be headed.
I was pondering all these things last Sunday on my way to church in Winchester, somewhat overwhelmed by all God has done in us and through us in the past 2 years.  When my dad started preaching he started from Psalm 105. 
 Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exalt in his holy name;rejoice, you who worship the Lord.  Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.  Remember the wonders he has performed, his miracles, and the rulings he has given, you children of his servant Abraham, you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.  He is the Lord our God. His justice is seen throughout the land. He always stands by his covenant—the commitment he made to a thousand generations. vs 1-8

Basically a reminder to them to recall the things that God has done for them throughout their history.  When they are doubting God and his promises or where He is leading them to now, or why they are enduring the things they are enduring, this is a call to stop and remember.  To remember the characted of the God they serve, the God they love, the God who loves them, the God who never fails or breaks his promises.  This wasn't just great advice for them it is for all of us.  Especially me most days!
When I stop and think of my life, I can so clearly see God all over it, even when was not looking for him.  From making a decision to call him Savior, to choosing to live life for myself, to returning to Him and to a life lived for him, I can see how He was in my life the entire time. Loving me, guiding me, protecting me, waiting for me.  My God has given me family and friends who have loved me, prayed for me, and encouraged me- even when I made that challenging. Through them He has given me glimpses of his grace and unfailing love. He has gifted me with a husband who shares my passion for serving others and for the nations. He has allowed us to be part of impacting the world and expanding his Kindgom. Through all of this He remains unchanged.
When I feel unworthy (which I am) or unequipt for this journey I think back over my story thus far and am reminded that I don't have to be anything but willing and obedient because My God is faithful to me, to his people throughout the generations.

Our Ebenezer (and I dont mean Scrooge)

In the Old Testament, sometimes when God would do something incredible for the Israelites, they would build a memorial to remember how God saved them, or protected them, or helped them, or whatever God did to demonstrate His love and His power to them. These stones of help or remembrance are called Ebenezers.
The road to Indianapolis is such a significant one in our lives. As a child, my family would travel several times a year through Indy on our way to visit family in Ohio. Tim's family lived in Indiana near the border with Illinois which causes him to also be familiar with this particular stretch of road. As a couple, many major life events for us have also involved the road to Indianapolis.
On May 28, 2008, we joined our families in a van and headed to Indy to participate in training prior to our departure to Kenya on June 3. As we rode along with our families chatting about what the next 2 months might hold for us, we both knew God had some pretty incredible things in store.
On July 7, 2010, Tim and I drove to Indy to attend the North American Christian Convention. Mary Kamau (from Missions of Hope in Nairobi) was speaking and many of our friends were going to be in attendance. We were excited and as the conversation in the car progressed we found ourselves talking about Kenya and really wondering where God was leading our lives. We had been pursuing many different things and nothing was happening. The only thing not leaving our hearts was returning to Kenya. So we found ourselves asking, "Why not now?" and "What are we waiting for?" We decided on the road that we would begin the conversation with CMF about full-time missionary service. God orchestrated some cool happenings on this trip that assured us that pursuing Nairobi was the right thing, His thing.
On October 15, 2010, after our very intense application for missionary service had been completed, psych evals and personality tests had been completed and discussed, physicals had been done, we headed for Indy for the last step in the process to affiliating with CMF as missionaries. We wrapped up our weekend at the Assessment Center with affiliation with CMF.
Much like the Israelites so many years ago, we consider the road to Indianapolis to be our Ebenezer.  A reminder to us of God's love, His provision in our lives, His plan.

Back to Kenya

For a few years now Tim and I have been praying about moving to Africa to be missionaries. In 2008, we went to Nairobi, Kenya to serve in the slums. (This blog is all about that if you would like to read more about that adventure.) We came home from that summer very unsure of what was next but knew Africa and more specifically Nairobi was on our hearts. We were able to lead a team from our church to Kenya in 2009. Since this time we have been unsettled and in July of this year we decided it was time for us to pursue moving to Kenya full-time to continue to serve the urban poor in the slums of Mathare Valley.
The process included and very in-depth application, psychological evaluation, and a physical. The next step was an assessment center which we just completed this weekend. Basically we were observed in a team setting to identify strengths and weaknesses we have and to determine our eligiblity for missionary service. We passed and have officially affiliated with Christian Missionary Fellowship International (www.cmfi.org). The next step is to attend a support raising training in January. Then we will begin the process of actually raising support to go to Kenya. We have no idea when we will leave as we have to have all our money raised in order to depart.
There are still many unknowns, but what we do know is that serving the poor in Nairobi is where we belong. Thanks to those of you who have prayed for an encouraged us over these past fews years.
If this makes no sense, I apologize. We just got home from a pretty intense weekend :) We will keep you all updated on whats going on, but please feel free to contact us or whatever if you have any questions or anything.
To say we are excited about this news in an understatement!