Saturday, January 19, 2013

In the gap

I never know exactly how to start these blogs.  How to start sharing what is pouring out of my heart and my coffee fueled mind. So I am just gonna begin and see where it leads.  I am ever so thankful for what we are being taught.  How we get to see things through the eyes of people who are here for the long haul.  Things look so much different for us now.  Our feet are planted here and we are growing roots.  As we do that our perspective changes so much.

We work in a place that has an abundance of problems and needs.  If you have been here (or some place similar), seen photos, or heard stories you know what I mean.  For every need met, about a billion more arise and stare you in the face.  At times, it can feel like walking in quicksand or running on treadmill.  Working so hard, but not really "going" anywhere. 

People come and visit or hear of the ministry and immediately begin to think of ways to fix it all (confession: I am very guilty of this!).  And we want the problem solved like yesterday.  Faster than immediate. We meet a family, they share a need, we jump into saviour mode.  And in many ways our compassion is awesome and admirable. The problem is-we aren't the saviour. At all.  We certainly get to be a part of sharing his love with the world, but we are not Him.  And in the rush to meet needs and the frustration that can follow when those needs are not met how and when we think they should be sometimes I think we are missing the most important part of the equation.  Jesus.

The ministry we are a part of moves so quickly.  And so slowly.  Simultaneously. Missions of Hope has experienced tremendous growth in a few short years, but the work being done here is at times moves at what feels like a snail's pace.  To me.  To us.  To Jesus, it is moving exactly how it should. We aren't just getting kids in school, or helping parents start businesses, or teaching health lessons and so on and so on.  Along with all these things, there needs to be a change of mind and more importantly a change of heart for this to be lasting.  To be sustaining.  And those sort of changes just take time.

 This week there has been a lot of that swirling around me. Stories that have crushed my heart. People with ideas and fervor to change them. Right.This. Second. But so many times, right this second isn't going to happen. And this week I have been struck so many times by the phrase "in the gap". 

In the gap. The space between.  The time that elapses.  Jesus is in that.  He is so much in that.  And in that space, He is enough.  Actually,He is so much more than enough.  For all these families and children who capture our hearts, He loves them more.  I think these kid's smiles give me joy, but they give him even more. He delights in them.  And their families. Their neighbors.  He sees so much more about them than anyone else ever will.  Their needs, desires, dreams, heartaches, stories NEVER escape him.  When they hurt, he is with them.  While they wait (while we wait), he is beside them (and us), when they rejoice, he does too. 

And I think this is not to be overlooked as we work to share His love.  In the meantime, while we get frustrated or annoyed with the time something is taking to happen Jesus knows exactly when and how it is all this is going to work out.  We are tasked with trusting him.  With waiting on him. In the gap.

While God is working in us, giving us the desire and power to do what pleases him (Phil 2:13), it is probably worth remembering that He is still enough.  I do what I can with what He gives me and then I trust him, place my faith in Him to do the rest. 

As we continue to work here, as you continue to work where you are or where you are going, as you come here to work, let us remember that Christ is present in the gap.  He is enough.  Always.  He cares, He loves, He sees. He is also in the business of bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth in his ever so perfect timing.  So in the meantime, let us do what we can with what we have been given and may we patiently wait upon Him, while standing in the gap with them.

(I definitely recognize how weird it is that I would be talking about having patience.  If God is teaching me anything it is about patience.  And I don't always learn the easy way.  I love that God is showing me the beauty of waiting.  I love that he has is changing my heart in a way that I get to be the one who says "it will happen when the time is right" "it is okay to wait" etc.  I sound like Tim :)

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A New Year and Finally a New Post!

It is hard to believe it is 2013 already. Also hard to believe it has been over 3 months since we have updated our blog. 

On this day last year, we were both getting over the flu and heading to Colorado for 5 weeks for missionary school.  We knew we would be leaving for Kenya soon, but we still had no departure date.  Everything was so unknown to us and "being in limbo" had taken on totally new meaning. Transition was the best way to describe our lives.

And now, on this day, I sit in our home in Nairobi.  We are just a few days away from being here for 10 months.  So close to a whole year and that plane ride to Colorado seems like ages ago.  Without a doubt, the transition has continued.  And will continue for quite some time, but with it has come some settlement and routine.  This has likely been the most paradoxical year of our lives.  It has been the hardest and the easiest.  Filled with many tears and so much joy.  Full of challenges and accomplishments.  A great deal of confusion and normalcy.  More goodbyes and hellos than have ever been said in our lives (probably combined).  We have learned more about who we are and about each other.  We have been frustrated and happy.  Pick an emotion and we have likely felt it at its extreme.  It feels like we just arrived and yet have been here forever.  It seems like the more we learn, the more there is to learn.  We have learned dependence and independence.  We have learned shillings and forgot what dollars look like.  We have learned driving on the other sideof the road and the car.  We have learned exhaustion and energized.  We have done Christmas together and apart from our families at the same time.  We have learned how to make things from scratch and to be thankful when people send us food and other great things that we love.  We have learned that distance changes relationships.  Sometimes for the better, sometimes not.  We have tried to support friends who are hurting from afar and felt the sting of the many miles that seperate.  We have felt love from others like never before.

As I reflect (isn't that customary for the first of the year?) my cheeks are stained with tears (no surprise in that).  We are where we should be.  In the midst of the negative emotions we have experienced, we have experienced peace like never before.  We have been waiting to be here for so long.  And here we are.  We missed the holidays with loved ones, but God gave us people we love here to spend time with.  It was kind of great to be celebrating Jesus in the place He has brought us to share His love. 

We are overwhelmed with thankfulness almost daily.  Thankful to God for sustaining us.  For allowing us to be a part of this. Thankful for new friends and old ones.  Thankful for supporters.  Those who support financially, prayerfully, and through regular encouragement.  Thankful for our families and the way they make time to share our lives with us and keep us inolved in their lives.

And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.  Ephesians 3:18

We are quite literally drowning in God's love.  All the time.  Every single second of every single day.  For this we are most thankful.  Our prayer is that 2013 is full of blessings for you.  May you be aware of how saturating the love of God really is.